Emily Steffey
In general, perfectionism is highly regarded in our society. Perfectionism is viewed as having the highest desire to succeed and a terrific work ethic to go along with it. But, there is a dark side to this drive to be the best, and it stems from a deep fear of failure.
I’ve always described myself as an “all or nothing” kind of person. If I can’t have the best of something, then I’d rather not have it at all. This explains my small but “perfect” clothing collection. Quality over quantity is my motto. This motto becomes problematic, however, when I would rather not do something if I can’t be the best. This is when perfectionism leads to procrastination or even total avoidance.
Procrastination is often attributed to laziness. While laziness may be the reason for procrastination in some cases, it’s the fear of performing less than perfectly that causes many people to put tasks off until the last minute. Because of the pressure that perfectionists put on themselves to perform at a perfect level, they anticipate frustration and anxiety in the task and therefore put off this discomfort for as long as they can.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt unable to start an assignment early. I felt almost paralyzed to work until the pressure of the deadline was on, and I had no choice but to start. While I almost always seemed to be able to complete the assignment well in the last minute, the stress and anxiety of the final hours were detrimental to both me and those around me. Plus, the assignment would loom in the back of my mind for all the days leading up to the last, so I was essentially suffering from the anxiety of the assignment for the entire time and not just at the very end.
More recently, as I have graduated from college and begun to embark on the working world, I have discovered a new way that perfectionism can be crippling. In the job application process, I have found it very difficult to motivate myself to apply for jobs to which I don’t fit the perfect criteria in education, experience or skills. In reality, I know that many of these criteria are not set in stone, and I may be considered for the position regardless. Still, it is nearly impossible to convince myself that a job is worth applying to unless I think I would be the best candidate.
In this way, perfectionism can manifest itself in a fear of risk and a desire to stay in one’s comfort zone. To remedy the ways in which perfectionism holds us back, we must ask ourselves what we are afraid of. In the instance of my job application avoidance, am I afraid of looking silly or being laughed at for being unqualified? And if so, why do I care if that employer laughs at me? The worst that can happen is that I won’t get the job, and it will likely never matter again.
In the scenario of procrastinating on deadline, I am reminded of a saying that I once thought made no sense: “once begun is half done.” Of course when you begin something, it is usually not literally half done. But by overcoming the time it takes to procrastinate, an assignment really can feel half done, as the hardest part is over. As for perfectionism in general, we must remember that “perfect” truly does not exist. The subjectivity of the word negates its significance. The need to attain something which is unattainable will only result in disappointment and shame.
We must convince ourselves that falling short of our idea of perfect is not the end of the world, and that the fear of such should never get in our way of taking risks and putting ourselves out there. There is a saying that one should “shoot for the moon, so that even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” This could be a good rule—just as long as we can forgive ourselves for landing among the stars.
I’ve always described myself as an “all or nothing” kind of person. If I can’t have the best of something, then I’d rather not have it at all. This explains my small but “perfect” clothing collection. Quality over quantity is my motto. This motto becomes problematic, however, when I would rather not do something if I can’t be the best. This is when perfectionism leads to procrastination or even total avoidance.
Procrastination is often attributed to laziness. While laziness may be the reason for procrastination in some cases, it’s the fear of performing less than perfectly that causes many people to put tasks off until the last minute. Because of the pressure that perfectionists put on themselves to perform at a perfect level, they anticipate frustration and anxiety in the task and therefore put off this discomfort for as long as they can.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt unable to start an assignment early. I felt almost paralyzed to work until the pressure of the deadline was on, and I had no choice but to start. While I almost always seemed to be able to complete the assignment well in the last minute, the stress and anxiety of the final hours were detrimental to both me and those around me. Plus, the assignment would loom in the back of my mind for all the days leading up to the last, so I was essentially suffering from the anxiety of the assignment for the entire time and not just at the very end.
More recently, as I have graduated from college and begun to embark on the working world, I have discovered a new way that perfectionism can be crippling. In the job application process, I have found it very difficult to motivate myself to apply for jobs to which I don’t fit the perfect criteria in education, experience or skills. In reality, I know that many of these criteria are not set in stone, and I may be considered for the position regardless. Still, it is nearly impossible to convince myself that a job is worth applying to unless I think I would be the best candidate.
In this way, perfectionism can manifest itself in a fear of risk and a desire to stay in one’s comfort zone. To remedy the ways in which perfectionism holds us back, we must ask ourselves what we are afraid of. In the instance of my job application avoidance, am I afraid of looking silly or being laughed at for being unqualified? And if so, why do I care if that employer laughs at me? The worst that can happen is that I won’t get the job, and it will likely never matter again.
In the scenario of procrastinating on deadline, I am reminded of a saying that I once thought made no sense: “once begun is half done.” Of course when you begin something, it is usually not literally half done. But by overcoming the time it takes to procrastinate, an assignment really can feel half done, as the hardest part is over. As for perfectionism in general, we must remember that “perfect” truly does not exist. The subjectivity of the word negates its significance. The need to attain something which is unattainable will only result in disappointment and shame.
We must convince ourselves that falling short of our idea of perfect is not the end of the world, and that the fear of such should never get in our way of taking risks and putting ourselves out there. There is a saying that one should “shoot for the moon, so that even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” This could be a good rule—just as long as we can forgive ourselves for landing among the stars.
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