Many of us, especially women, are taught from the time we are born that we have already failed - we need to drive ourselves to be better, to be everything to everyone, and to measure ourselves by an ill-defined standard called 'perfection.' And if we aren't living up to society's expectations then we are inadequate and we should be shamed or punished. But the only person that shames or punishes us is ourselves.
Being aware of your negative self-talk is the first step towards recognizing that you are not defined by your achievements alone, by how many people praise or validate you, or by what people say about you. The reality is that for every praise you receive someone out there will have an opposite belief - that is the law of human nature and rightly or wrongly, we all judge each other. Recognizing that these are simply the opinions and beliefs of others based on their own standards, their own journey and experiences, and that opinions and beliefs do not reflect the truth is the first step towards stopping the cycle of negative self-talk and your need to chase perfection. Truth exists regardless of belief or consensus. And the truth is you are just where you need to be.
Take the first step by celebrating where you are today. Acknowledge your journey and recognize the milestones you have reached (big and small). We are all on our own journey and you are exactly where you need to be. Accept what it is and where you're at, and celebrate YOU.