THRIVE Energy Coaching
Email:
  • Home
  • Meet Jin Li Frick
  • Personal and Leadership Coaching
  • Executive Coaching & Consulting
  • Contact Us
  • Careers
  • Blogs
    • Jin Li's Thoughts & Musings
    • Lissa's Life & Leadership Lessons
    • Emily Steffey - Guest Blogger
  • Newsletters
    • Dec 2014
    • Apr 2015
    • June 2015
    • Sep 2015
    • Dec 2015

Fear of Judgment

8/19/2014

 
Jin Li Frick
I was accused of being judgmental yesterday in front of a few others, and my resulting emotions ranged from hurt to disappointment to insecurity to anger. My victim energy was coming through fast and furious.

While I can go into various reasons as to why this individual felt judged and why I felt that I had not judged her, that is beside the point.  What I ultimately learned about myself was how I reacted to it.  As I replayed the range of emotions I felt, I could feel defensiveness rising, then feelings of being wronged, disbelief, and embarrassment.  Briefly, I thought why does this keep happening to me. I hurtled back in time to my past insecurities about being misunderstood and being labeled as "unapproachable".  A lot of people in my corporate life had misinterpreted my intentions, even when they were meant to be the best of intentions.

At the time, I tried to place myself in this individual's shoes, but unfortunately, I was unsuccessful in re-framing the situation. I still felt unjustly accused and defensive. I wanted to either collapse into myself or come out charging.  And, while I expressed regret for having offended the person, I felt compelled to explain myself and justify where I was coming from. I wonder what the best route for me would have been?  Listen and say nothing? Listen and explain? I was a bit at a lost so I kind of did a little of everything.

As a result I continued to perseverate over it for the rest of the day yesterday and into today.  In examining why I had difficulty letting go I realized that my GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations and Limiting Beliefs) were coming through for me as a result of this interaction.  Thoughts of "I'm not good enough", "This really proves that I shouldn't share my thoughts", "Why didn't I know what to do? I won't ever be a good coach" swirled in my head.  I was being reactive and allowed my negative thoughts to take over and steal my power.  I became small. 

The event was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and was merely the result of two individuals having a different approach to life and how we face our GAILs.  I realize I still have a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do.  This incident was simply a part of my journey and life's lessons.  So thank you for that experience!

Comments are closed.

    Archives

    May 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

© THRIVE Energy Coaching, January 2015
A Partnership of Independent Coaches

Lissa Kowalski, co-founder, partner and friend.
Your spirit lives on.