Jin Li Frick
The phrase, "God won't give you more than you can handle" popped into my head recently and as I thought about it I came to the realization that God somehow heaped the proverbial Pink Elephant on me, and then decided I should take on the Camel and the Hippopotamus as well before he left to go about the rest of his business. The problem is, he forgot to come back to relieve me of my load!
I learned early in life that stoicism is part and parcel of my family's genetic makeup. My parents have tolerated a lot in their lives, having uprooted themselves from the comfort and luxury of their home in Malaysia to make a new home in California. Their goal was to offer their two young daughters the opportunities in life that they would not have been able to access had we stayed in Malaysia. My father gave up his management track career to set up shop as a small business owner. My mother gave up her socialite lifestyle and luxuries to become a stay-at-home mom (in it's literal sense). It was a culture shock for them but I never heard them complain.
While I respect what they did for us and am eternally grateful, as I reached adulthood, that same sense of tolerance, of taking on more and more, and never saying "no" became my standard as well. Whether it was school, work or family, I had the "bring it on baby" attitude and never once thought I could or should push back or say "no more."
What happened? Well, I exploded and imploded all over myself and anyone who was standing near me at the time, namely my family. It was ugly.
Thankfully I had a handful of caring people around to pick me up and piece me back together. My husband has stood by me through the literal "thick and thin" of life. I am a sunflower in the light of his love and am forever indebted to him for his unfailing belief me in and our love. My closest of friends, who have also stuck it out with me, have given me a shoulder to cry on and listened to countless hours of my self flagellation, even while it was for no productive end other than to flame my own victim energy.
It was ultimately the lowest point in my life - hitting the rock bottom of rock bottoms - that saved me from myself and made me realize that my self pity was doing nothing more than empowering my demons. Coming out of the darkness an emotionally healthier individual, I realize that saying "I can't.." is okay. No one will notice that I couldn't do it or that I didn't take on more. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, cares. They have their own lives to lead. So what was I out to prove? That I am Wonder Woman? That I am a Survivor? That I am Perfect?
Well...let me say that I am Perfect Just as I am; I am a Thriver not a survivor; and, I certainly can't save the world doing what I'm doing, except on Halloween of course. So on this quiet Sunday evening, after I've tucked my rascal of a son into bed, I raise a glass to myself and toast the fact that I got kicked in the butt very recently, and I chose to Thrive!!
I learned early in life that stoicism is part and parcel of my family's genetic makeup. My parents have tolerated a lot in their lives, having uprooted themselves from the comfort and luxury of their home in Malaysia to make a new home in California. Their goal was to offer their two young daughters the opportunities in life that they would not have been able to access had we stayed in Malaysia. My father gave up his management track career to set up shop as a small business owner. My mother gave up her socialite lifestyle and luxuries to become a stay-at-home mom (in it's literal sense). It was a culture shock for them but I never heard them complain.
While I respect what they did for us and am eternally grateful, as I reached adulthood, that same sense of tolerance, of taking on more and more, and never saying "no" became my standard as well. Whether it was school, work or family, I had the "bring it on baby" attitude and never once thought I could or should push back or say "no more."
What happened? Well, I exploded and imploded all over myself and anyone who was standing near me at the time, namely my family. It was ugly.
Thankfully I had a handful of caring people around to pick me up and piece me back together. My husband has stood by me through the literal "thick and thin" of life. I am a sunflower in the light of his love and am forever indebted to him for his unfailing belief me in and our love. My closest of friends, who have also stuck it out with me, have given me a shoulder to cry on and listened to countless hours of my self flagellation, even while it was for no productive end other than to flame my own victim energy.
It was ultimately the lowest point in my life - hitting the rock bottom of rock bottoms - that saved me from myself and made me realize that my self pity was doing nothing more than empowering my demons. Coming out of the darkness an emotionally healthier individual, I realize that saying "I can't.." is okay. No one will notice that I couldn't do it or that I didn't take on more. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, cares. They have their own lives to lead. So what was I out to prove? That I am Wonder Woman? That I am a Survivor? That I am Perfect?
Well...let me say that I am Perfect Just as I am; I am a Thriver not a survivor; and, I certainly can't save the world doing what I'm doing, except on Halloween of course. So on this quiet Sunday evening, after I've tucked my rascal of a son into bed, I raise a glass to myself and toast the fact that I got kicked in the butt very recently, and I chose to Thrive!!
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