Manage Your Thinking
Most of us don’t realise that what we feel at an emotional level is a product of our thoughts. Many of us have the ability to change our thoughts, we just need to get some help with the how….but most of us don't.
Instead we plow on and end up feeling helpless, at the mercy of our feelings, and the situations that have created them….and sometimes we don’t even know why we are feeling this way. Even worse we allow these feelings to limit what we do or we behave in ways that are unhelpful in the medium to long term (perhaps even the short term).
We can put it down to something that has happened or something someone else has said or done. But how we feel about that incident, and how we respond is a product of how we are thinking about it. Sometimes we can be so overwhelmed by our feelings that we do nothing: continuing with the same patterns of behaviours that led to those feelings. It becomes a vicious cycle: we get stuck.
For example you have been given an assignment/a project at work and you don’t even know where to begin with it. You don’t want to admit this so you just worry about, and tell yourself you can’t do it and you don’t: you procrastinate, putting it off each day and saying you will start tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, you tell yourself you can’t do it – so you don’t.
Recognise this?
So here’s the thing: we have a choice about what we think. We can choose to think about that incident in a different way: perhaps a more balanced way. If we can’t find a different way to ‘see’ it or ‘think’ about it, we can ask for help from someone else (choose someone you know will help you to see it in a different way). So in the example above you could instead explore how you could get this done with the question “How CAN I get this done or started” e.g. asking a colleague or your manager to coach you through areas where you need help.
Changing that internal dialogue by thinking in a more helpful way, will help you to feel differently and enable you to respond to the situation in a more constructive way: changing what you do about the situation. This in turn will reinforce more helpful thoughts and feelings.
Your Thoughts….Your Choice
Instead we plow on and end up feeling helpless, at the mercy of our feelings, and the situations that have created them….and sometimes we don’t even know why we are feeling this way. Even worse we allow these feelings to limit what we do or we behave in ways that are unhelpful in the medium to long term (perhaps even the short term).
We can put it down to something that has happened or something someone else has said or done. But how we feel about that incident, and how we respond is a product of how we are thinking about it. Sometimes we can be so overwhelmed by our feelings that we do nothing: continuing with the same patterns of behaviours that led to those feelings. It becomes a vicious cycle: we get stuck.
For example you have been given an assignment/a project at work and you don’t even know where to begin with it. You don’t want to admit this so you just worry about, and tell yourself you can’t do it and you don’t: you procrastinate, putting it off each day and saying you will start tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, you tell yourself you can’t do it – so you don’t.
Recognise this?
So here’s the thing: we have a choice about what we think. We can choose to think about that incident in a different way: perhaps a more balanced way. If we can’t find a different way to ‘see’ it or ‘think’ about it, we can ask for help from someone else (choose someone you know will help you to see it in a different way). So in the example above you could instead explore how you could get this done with the question “How CAN I get this done or started” e.g. asking a colleague or your manager to coach you through areas where you need help.
Changing that internal dialogue by thinking in a more helpful way, will help you to feel differently and enable you to respond to the situation in a more constructive way: changing what you do about the situation. This in turn will reinforce more helpful thoughts and feelings.
Your Thoughts….Your Choice