Lissa Kowalski
Feedback is a gift—a bit cliché but true. Each of us has blind spots that hinder our relationships at work and at home, if we knew what they were, we could do something about it, but unless someone shares the information, gives us feedback-- we remain in the dark. We all know this, yet in business and personal relationships, very few people are willing to provide the feedback necessary to aid us in development. Most of us ignore these issues and hope the problem will go away by itself without having to say or do anything, We ignore these issues because most of us are conflict adverse; we fear the reaction of others—will they be angry, cry, defensive? Could sharing constructive feedback damage relationships?
Unfortunately, the cost of not receiving and addressing developmental feedback can be significant-we may miss out on key assignments, training opportunities, pay increases and promotions.
The key to getting the feedback you need is to create a trusting environment and make is safe for your feedback providers—this is particularly true when you are seeking feedback from those with less positional power.
1. Ask for it. Identify who you need feedback from; this should include your direct reports, peers, supervisor and any other key stakeholders. In the appropriate setting, team meeting or one-on-one, let them know that you would like their honest feedback on what’s working well, what areas you should improve upon (with specific examples); what you should be doing more of and what you should be doing less of. It is often helpful to ask for feedback in team meetings so all involved hear the request at the same time; you can then follow up in one-on-one discussions.
2. Ask for it again. Add feedback as an agenda item to individual and team meetings. When you get positive feedback, say “thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me what I’m doing well, and I’d love it if you would also share an area I could improve upon.
3. Say thank you and be gracious. When you do hear constructive feedback, make sure you do not appear defensive, argumentative or in any way unreceptive. Your response will determine how likely you are to get future feedback; this is especially true if the feedback comes from a direct report.
4. Ask for clarity. If the feedback is vague or you are unsure what is being shared, ask for more information and this is key, you must do so without appearing defensive.
5. Make a commitment to address the feedback. If you don’t do anything with the feedback, the feedback pipeline will close down before it even begins to flow. Let the feedback provider (and others if appropriate) know what changes you will make as a result of the feedback. Ask for input on your progress.
6. Go public. If the feedback came from a direct report, share your appreciation at your next team meeting—this will reinforce with the rest of your team that you are truly open to their input.
Authenticity is key here, you need to approach this in a way that feels comfortable and true to who you are--practice your approach and reap the rewards.
Unfortunately, the cost of not receiving and addressing developmental feedback can be significant-we may miss out on key assignments, training opportunities, pay increases and promotions.
The key to getting the feedback you need is to create a trusting environment and make is safe for your feedback providers—this is particularly true when you are seeking feedback from those with less positional power.
1. Ask for it. Identify who you need feedback from; this should include your direct reports, peers, supervisor and any other key stakeholders. In the appropriate setting, team meeting or one-on-one, let them know that you would like their honest feedback on what’s working well, what areas you should improve upon (with specific examples); what you should be doing more of and what you should be doing less of. It is often helpful to ask for feedback in team meetings so all involved hear the request at the same time; you can then follow up in one-on-one discussions.
2. Ask for it again. Add feedback as an agenda item to individual and team meetings. When you get positive feedback, say “thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me what I’m doing well, and I’d love it if you would also share an area I could improve upon.
3. Say thank you and be gracious. When you do hear constructive feedback, make sure you do not appear defensive, argumentative or in any way unreceptive. Your response will determine how likely you are to get future feedback; this is especially true if the feedback comes from a direct report.
4. Ask for clarity. If the feedback is vague or you are unsure what is being shared, ask for more information and this is key, you must do so without appearing defensive.
5. Make a commitment to address the feedback. If you don’t do anything with the feedback, the feedback pipeline will close down before it even begins to flow. Let the feedback provider (and others if appropriate) know what changes you will make as a result of the feedback. Ask for input on your progress.
6. Go public. If the feedback came from a direct report, share your appreciation at your next team meeting—this will reinforce with the rest of your team that you are truly open to their input.
Authenticity is key here, you need to approach this in a way that feels comfortable and true to who you are--practice your approach and reap the rewards.
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