Importance of Boundaries in Relationships

The essential goal of all relationships is to feel calm, centered and focused. When we lack these elements in our relationships it is due in large part to an inability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with one another. Healthy boundaries allow a person to experience comfortable interdependence with other people, resulting in well-functioning relationships and positive self-regard.  
Without healthy boundaries some key issues may arise that begins to compromise on your personal objectives in life:

• You become unclear about your preferences, and what you will and will not accept as an individual.
• You may not feel safe.
• You do not notice unhappiness because finding ways to endure or tolerate the relationship becomes a primary concern.
• You begin to alter and compromise your values. Values are your true ‘north’ in life and without them you take on the values of others and begin to lose yourself.
• Lose your objectivity.
• Are unable to say a definitive ‘no’.
• Sense of drama may increase.

 
When you are clear on your boundaries you are at Choice and as a result you are able to:

• Have clear preferences and act upon them.
• Recognize when you are happy, and know what to do when you are not.
• Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered.
• Trust your own intuition while being open to other's opinions.
• Live optimistically while co-working on change.
• Are only satisfied if you are thriving.
• Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability.
• Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate.
• Seek relationships that allow for mutual love and respect.
• Act out of agreement and negotiation
• Only do favors you choose to do and are able to say a definitive ‘no’.
• Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes.
• Feel safe, secure and clear.
• Are living a life that mostly approximates what you always wanted for yourself.
• And most importantly, are always aware of your Choices.

(Jin Li Frick - jinli@thriveenergycoaching.com)